“I remember when I was a therapist, when my patients got better, I used to punish them because I needed them [so I could] be a therapist. I needed them, for me to be a therapist.”
How long have you been seeing your therapist?
Is it time to ask your therapist some hard - perhaps provoking - questions?
Like, if you showed them the quote above by the wonderful, world-famous, spiritual teacher Ram Dass, who early on in his career was a therapist, what do you think they would say?
Do THEY need YOU to not get better?
Maybe ask them, “So, isn’t it crazy that if you are really good at your job you quickly run out of repeat customers?”
Or, “If you got paid by how fast I didn’t need to come back, would your approach be different?”
Or see if they get triggered or defensive when you ask, “Did you get into psychology for the classic reason of fixing yourself, or how come you chose to become a psychologist/therapist?” (I know I studied psychology for this reason and I’m not ashamed to admit it! 🙂)
In my experience, a therapist who has done their own deep work, their own shadow work and who has checked their own ego - HARD - won’t get triggered or defensive… or even triggered by this sentence.
Whenever I read or hear therapists say something like, ”I have clients that have been coming to me for 5/10/15 years”, a little part of me thinks “Hmmm, doesn’t that in some way mean that you are shit at your job..?”
Another little part of me pops his head up and wants to ask, “If you had to go back to your mechanic once a week for 10 years for the same thing, wouldn’t HE be shit at HIS job..?”
Yeah, yeah, I know people aren’t cars and I know mechanics aren’t psychologists, but it’s not uncommon to hear frustrated clients complain about the lack of CONCRETE progress with whatever they’ve been going to therapy for.
Many feel it’s only talk, talk, talk.
And yeah, yeah, I know many times it’s the patient/client that’s slowing down the progress, but I feel that we don’t often enough question the therapist side of the equation.
In fact, one of the most common gripes I hear from clients that come to me is some version of this comment: “Sure, they have their wall full of diplomas but they just don’t GET it!”
Whenever I hear this I think of Carl Jung’s comment:
“Only the wounded physician heals... and then only to the extent he has healed himself.”
I realize there are a lot of people out there who have deep wounds, and really DO need extensive therapy for 5-10-15 years, but a lot of people don’t.
A lot of people would benefit from other forms of more concrete “let’s-solve-my-here-and-now-problems-quickly” type of support.
Are you one of these people?
If you want to get your life on track QUICKLY, just get in touch and we can have a chat about your options.
I guarantee it will be a productive chat and I guarantee I don’t bite.
(Psychedelic therapy Sweden)
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